Fuck A.D.

I'm talkin about B.C. motherfuckers. Or whatever, "B.C.E." if you insist on pretending we live in a politically correct modern era. It's like calling Christmas Break "Winter Break." Sure, buddy, whatever. While I'm on the rant about religious happenings, apparently Harold Camping was actually pretty close to predicting the end of the world! At least, as far as he's concerned. (The authors of that article suggest divine intervention as the cause for Camping's misfortune, however, I prefer Michael's theory on this whole business: the Rapture did indeed occur as predicted by Camping, but all of us hell-bound citizens just didn't notice the sudden absence of the good guys.)

Nah, B.C. is where it's at. 10,000 BC to be exact. Sure, being a cultural studies student (wha?), I could write pages and pages about my love of Cronenberg and Body Horror. But Cultural Wha? doesn't need any of that fancy bullshit. What it needs is a night in with Bo, a couple j's and CAVE MEN. Problematic racial implications aside, (why do they all have dreadlocks?) 10,000 BC is great because of its many mishaps - or as I prefer, adventures - in continuity! I particularly enjoyed that man has not yet invented the bow and arrow but the protagonists speak flawlessly in their pseudo-british accents. The low budget Lord of the Rings aesthetic was also a bonus.

5 stars.

JULIA