You know you're not cool when...

On the breezy evening walk to Jamez's house, you see a bunch of white movie trucks parked along the street. Awesome, you think. I like movies.

There are a gaggle of young girls clutching their cameras, whispering excitedly. You mosey over to see what all the commotion is about.

Suddenly the girls erupt in an explosion of flashes and gasps. The security guards huddle closer.

Around one figure. The centre of attention.

What's going on? You eventually ask.

The middle-aged mother of one flashing, gasping girl offers sympathetically, It's Robert Pattinson.

Oh! You say. Followed by, Which one is he?

She does a double take that's motivated either by pity or awe. It's impossible to tell which.

In the white shirt, she responds curtly.

There's too many people in white shirts. You momentarily catch sight of a highlighted yet manly head of hair. That must be him.

Oh right...with the hair, you manage to remark to the unimpressed mother. Maybe you need glasses.

So I can't walk this way then?

NO.

Jamez is waiting on his front steps with a cigarette.

Dude! You say. Robert Pattinson is shooting a movie just down the block!

Woah! He exclaims, and appears genuinely in the know. A slight pause. He flicks the butt of his cigarette.

I've been meaning to get into True Blood, you say.

Another double take. You're stirring shit up tonight.

Ummm, ha ha, no no. He's in Twilight, Jules. Jamez at least pats you on the shoulder.

Right. I knew that. That's what I meant. I just mean I've been meaning to get into vampires in general lately. You know.

A couple hours pass, and you're reporting the incident on your blog. Aptly titled Cultural Wha?

JULIA